3 Tantric Secrets of Long-Lasting Couples

Tantra Yoga is an ancient science of personal and spiritual evolution. What sets it apart from other similar systems is its ability to address every aspect of life, without leaving anything outside its wide scope. From material and social aspects, to scientific education, sexuality, love, mental training and transcendental meditative experiences, everything can benefit from Tantric knowledge and practice.

Tantra became famous in the modern world as a singular spiritual system that does not oppose love and sexuality, but rather teaches us how to use these wonderful experiences for advancement as an individual, and as a couple. Here are some of the secrets revealed by Tantra, which can help any love relationship become more fulfilling, and last for a long time, without losing the freshness and excitement of its beginning.

Embrace growth and change

If you want a relationship that maintains its freshness and excitement through the years, both you and your lover need to grow as human beings, and also need to allow your relationship to grow. In this way you will always have something new and exciting. Growth and spiritual development is the law of life. When we stop growing as a person, we actually begin dying. When a relationship stops growing, it starts dying. 

Maintain polarity in your relationship

The polarity that exists between two people is what makes them attracted to each other. By living with a person for a long time, polarity tends to decrease. This is just like connecting the two poles of a battery: after a while, there will be no energy flowing between them. 

Here are some of the signs that the polarity in your couple is decreasing:

  • Diminished sexual attraction and pleasure 
  • Less desire to do things together
  • Less joy and excitement in seeing each other, after a day of work.
  • Seeing more the defects of the other person, than their qualities
  • The lack of meaningful discussions
  • Most of your time together is spent focusing on something else than yourselves, or your love relationship: TV, kids, social activities.
  • The absence of surprises, compliments, or romantic gestures.
  • The absence of non-sexual loving touch: embraces, caresses, kisses offered with no sexual intention.
  • The tendency to criticize the other when you are with your own circle of friends.
  • Taking the other one for granted, instead of seeing them as a divine gift.

Of course, some of the above could simply be signs that you are not in the right relationship. However, when even if you care deeply for your partner, you still observe some of these signs, then it is time to work on rebuilding polarity. Here is what Tantra recommends:

  • Do not sleep together as a general rule. Have separate bedrooms. The only time you spend in the same bed should be high quality time focused on love and eroticism. When you sleep together, your energy fields blend together, and in time they become more and more alike. This is a main reason for lack of attraction. 
  • Respect each other’s space and differences, different friends, likes and dislikes. Do not try to control or turn the other person into yourself.
  • Continuously develop your feminine or masculine qualities, and enjoy your differences.

Make lovemaking special

  • Clean the room, make time, use natural perfumes, flowers, elevating music etc. 
  • Generally make love when you are both rested and in good spirits.
  • See your lover as a divine gift, as a god or goddess, evoke everything you love about them, everything they have amazing. This is called transfiguration.
  • Do foreplay for at least 20 minutes: kiss, caress, and embrace the entire body. Learn your lover’s most sensitive areas, and insist on them.
  • Communicate openly, and share your fantasies and desires.
  • During lovemaking, make it a priority to offer love and pleasure to your lover. If you both do it in the same time, your lovemaking will become a gate to paradise.



Iliana Stefanescu – Yoga and Tantra Teacher

Ileana Stefanescu has practiced and taught Yoga and Tantra for over 30 years. Her style is rooted in the ancient spiritual knowledge, correlated with modern science. She helps her students integrate Tantra and yoga as part of their daily life, as methods of personal transformation at physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. She works diligently to help people grow spiritually and increase joy, love and awareness, together with finding their divine purpose in life.

She is certified at the highest level with both The Yoga Alliance of US, as well as with Atman – The International Federation for Yoga and Meditation of London, UK.

You can contact her at 702-823-6512



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