Seeds to Happiness Blog #18 – The only way to it, is through it!

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” – Pema Chodron

They say we come to this world for growing our souls through lessons and experiences. That makes Life merely a replay of the same movie. Has it ever occurred to you that you tend to repeat certain patters throughout your lifetime? While scenarios and people may be different in the given episode, the situation and the feelings are the same, which is what reminds you of the pattern. Most people live their life unconsciously, thinking that these patterns are simply the way their life is meant to be and they blame it on life itself or others for what’s happening to them. You’ll hear them say “That’s just how my life has always been,” or “Everyone always takes advantage of me,” or anything else that has always been THAT WAY. These people fail to recognize the patterns and understand that any change is in their hands. It may have always been that way, but it doesn’t have to be anymore if you choose to TAKE ACTION NOW.

I have always struggled with setting healthy boundaries and somehow always found myself feeling taken advantage of. At first I thought people are just greedy or selfish and I am too kind. It took me nearly 30 years to understand, that there is nothing wrong with people, I simply did not know how to set healthy boundaries and that there was no need to people please to be loved. This one seemingly simple realization brought such peace into my life. All of a sudden people stopped being greedy or selfish and I did not feel any urge to please anyone anymore.

Next time you find yourself in a repeating pattern – bad relationship, work conflict, friendship issues, etc., pause and FOCUS ON THE FEELING. If it feels familiar ask yourself this, “What do I need to learn to not feel this way anymore?” The answer will come to you very soon without you trying too hard; and when it comes you’ll know. By replaying the movie you get to grow your soul – you learn little details, you have aha moments. Unfortunately even when you recognize the situation and try to skip it by not getting involved, it tends to circle back and find you again. The only way to it is through it. Once you fully learn your lesson the episode leaves your journey for good and the pattern stops.

Yours in growing the soul,

Ava Mucikyan

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