“In the realm of love, a paradox exists: you can effectively love others only when you can love yourself.” – Gay Hendricks

Let’s talk about LOVE… Generally, every single person has their own unwritten definition of Love, which is why Gary Chapman came up with 5 love languages to help educate on various ways people give and receive love. When you google the definition of Love (v) here is what you get – “feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).” Romantic or Sexual ATTACHMENT? Seriously? No wonder people are stuck in unhealthy co-dependant relationships.  Love is so much more multidimensional than this petty definition. The power of love is limitless – Love can heal, it can end wars, Love can save and liberate, Love inspires and empowers, Love spreads compassion and sets you free, Love can open doors to endless possibilities. Love is not sexual at all, it’s not infatuation, it’s not lust…Love cannot be bought or sold, forced or taken away… Love doesn’t condition or judge. Love is bigger than you, it’s the most profound emotion you can experience as a human.

Love starts with YOU! It is an inside job. Self-love is the missing link to fully understanding the concept of LOVE. Unconditional love is your birthright. Unfortunately, many of us can’t really define for ourselves what it means, so we expect others to provide us with that feeling of safety and love. You tend to demand from others what you cannot give to yourself. It is not fair to place such a burden on people around you, because no matter how much love they give you, it will never be enough.  So learn your own love language and fulfill it yourself, before you have someone else fill your love tank.

You get love by giving it, and you can’t give it if you don’t have it. Here are a few tips to help you start your journey to self-love:

1. Write 5 things every day that you absolutely love about yourself, affirm them and own the awesome person that you are.
2. Practice forgiveness and self-compassion. Forgive yourself for everything you have presumably done wrong in the past. Be gentle with yourself… you are doing your best.
3. Feel your emotions! Let go of numbing habits, such as excessive shopping, eating, drugs, sex, drinking, etc. Allow yourself to feel the pain. The only way to it, is through it…
4. Practice the art of self-care! Love yourself unconditionally and unapologetically, just the way you are!

Unconditional Love for self will open up endless possibilities for you. Fill your love tank so much that you cannot help but spread love and kindness all around you. Try to see beauty in everything and everyone, even if it is hard to see. Be the spark that warms up people’s heart.

Yours in loving unconditionally,

Ava Mucikyan