Seeds To Happiness Blog #10 – You Can’t Do Life Alone.

 

“When you hand good people possibility, they do great things. – Biz Stone

There is a reason we are each born with various talents and passions. Some of us are well versed in creative work while others are great at structure. This is because we came to this world with different purposes, none any less important than the other. We are all connected – like a mechanism that is built with a million pieces, yet none can function without the other, as each and every piece is essential to the entire operation.

For better or for worse, we grew up in a system that pushed for multitasking, encouraging us to be very individualistic and extremely competitive. We tend to use the word TEAM WORK in almost every area of our life; however, a close observation reveals that most of our societal roles, from school to work, from family to friendship cheers more for competitiveness rather than teamwork. Our parents always wanted us to be better and push harder, get the medals and honors; whether we liked doing what we were put into or not. As a result we grew up so disconnected with ourselves that we can’t even find our true passion, focus on the one thing that makes us happy, and most importantly, trust others to do what they are good at.

Being an overachiever myself, I tend to take on more tasks at a given time than I can emotionally handle. Physically – no problem, I can champion through them all, as I am raised to multitask and overachieve; however, emotionally I learned that spending too much time DOING (working) and not enough time BEING (self-caring, disconnecting, pausing) takes a toll on me emotionally, and anxiety and stress creep up very quickly.

In addition to this, majority of us are perfectionists one way or another, which can express itself in multitude of ways – from “OCD” behavioral patterns or meticulousness, to taking up on a task and dropping it just as quickly. I remember when I opened The Salt Room, I spent so much time thinking of every single detail from branding, merchandising, to baseboard colors. This went on to a point where I had to hire a designer to match the color of walls with the unique color of baseboards. I know, you are probably thinking I am crazy. But at that time, my mind couldn’t rest and move on until I had that color issue figured out. Even when Tammy came on board, I had a hard time letting go of control. I would show her how to do something very simple, then catch myself saying, “it’s ok I’ll do it.” Talk about crazy perfectionist.

Slowly I learned to LET GO OF CONTROL. Of course it came with a level of trust, but soon enough I realized that people actually all have different talents, and my job was not to teach them how to do something they are not interested in, but to find the experts in the fields I needed help with and TRUST that they will do a better job than I will, since it is THEIR passion. To my surprise, Tammy actually ended up doing things a lot better and more efficient than I could ever imagine. What a liberating feeling to know that I DON’T HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING. I learned to delegate and trust, which opened up a whole new world of creativity for me. I now have time to create and implement new ideas, which is my passion and allow others to help me CO-CREATE. And even when things don’t turn out the way I want them to, I learned to understand human error, and be encouraging of growth. After all, I have made a few mistakes myself.

Whether it is at the expense of patience or money, it is almost always worth allowing experts to do the work they are passionate about. There is a level of empowerment in just that. Magic happens when co-creation is in process, when everyone does what they are great at and you trust them in doing their job. Learn to identify your and others’ strengths, then delegate/distribute the tasks accordingly. As a result everyone will have more fun doing their work and it will get done much more efficiently, than if you were to do it all alone.

Yours in co-creating our lives,

Ava Mucikyan

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